Hubba Hubba Hank

I figure that every time I post a blog featuring my cat, I'm one step closer to being the crazy cat lady. I should really just embrace it and know that it is my destiny. Actually, I took this photo the same day my car got it's window shot out. My Krista friend was at Wal-Mart that day and she came by my house to love me up and drop off a 12 pack of Diet Coke. She knows how much I love that sweet nectar of the gods. When she came to my house Hank was kicking it old school with his little arm behind his head. I thought she just might piddle her pants right there on the rug. She thought he looked pretty seductive and I'd have to agree. So, Hubba Hubba Hank is my new header photo.

Plus, also, my life is feeling better today. It was pretty touch-and-go there for while. I had a double facial at my house with a couple of super-cute girls and they bought $255 worth of stuff. My profit off of that averages out to be about $30 an hour. I'm pretty sure that Mary Kay is the only place I can make that kind of money in a way that is both legal and moral. We laughed a lot and it was really fun to have people visiting me at my house. Good company in conjunction with good money is enough to perk anybody up.

I almost forgot. I am the proud owner of a vacuum. My old one broke before I moved to Payson. If you are wondering what I've been using to vacuum for the past 7 months, I'd like to answer that I've been borrowing one. However, the truth is that I honestly haven't vacuumed since I've moved in. If you now believe that I'm living in redneck squalor, I'd like to direct you to the Christmas Eve post that shows a photo of what my Auntie gave me for my emergency preparedness. Actually, the good news is that most all of my house is cement. It's not just your run of the mill sidewalk cement, it's fancy stained cement that's heated. That is my favorite feature. I have warm feet all the time. Now I'm thinking I need to post a photo of my house so you can see my fancy cement with radiant heating that doesn't need to be vacuumed. There is carpet in my bedroom, only I'm not in there enough for it go get dirty. I barely even sleep there. The problem is the rug in the front room. I always swept it and that really did a pretty good job but that was pre-Hank. My post-Hank rug had a fine film of white cat fur on it that the broom didn't touch. I figured that a $40 vacuum was in the long run a better investment than the hundreds of lent rollers it would take to keep the kitty fur off. I used my Mary Kay money I earned last night. Hank and I are better friends now that I don't have to feel anxious about a furry rug.

This is my fancy floor in my fancy kitchen. Did I mention that it is heated? Because it is and I'm in love with it.

This is my happy little vacuum next to it's happy little clean rug. This is just a photo of Hank's tail in the closet door. He's obsessed with that place. When I open the door he runs in. On this particular day I shut it not knowing he was in there. I don't think he even noticed.

The Last Straw

Today's bloggness is not the happy joyful sort. I've been really emotional and wanting to bawl the past few days--I think from the Post Holiday Grumpiness

Syndrome (PHGS)--and today's little "incident" was the last straw.

I woke up this morning and decided that I would go to church with Aunt Kaye because I like that better than going to my church and sitting alone. I showered and got all dolled up and headed out the door. Only to my surprise and dismay, back passenger side window had been broken. Not just cracked, but shattered into a million pieces. I don't think shock is a good enough word to explain what happened next, but it is as good a word as I can come up with. I froze and had no idea what to do. Since my brain was shut down, I got out the cell phone and started calling people hoping they could tell me what to do. Right about this same time I became truly hysterical. I was sobbing so hard that it's probably a good thing that I couldn't really get a hold of anyone. I finally got a hold of Kesk, who was home from church presumably because she doesn't feel well, though I don't know for sure because I was too upset about me to ask about her. (So, I hope you feel better, Kesk.) She's my number one go-to-girl when I just need someone to be nice to me and to let me bawl at them. She suggested I file a police report. That was the moment it occurred to me that someone did this on purpose. I do teach 14 year olds and I know how destructive they sometimes like to be in the name of "fun". I wasn't in love with that idea, so I called my insurance first. They were very helpful in telling me it would be pretty expensive to fix. The nice man one the phone asked me if I had a cold, which was the wrong thing to ask, because I started crying hysterically at him too. I think he was pretty sorry he asked. He had a hard time understanding me after that because of the crying.

While one the phone with the insurance man, the Eaves came home from church to grab something. I was glad because they knew what to do. They had me call the police and then Randy stayed home from church to help me clean it all up. I'm very grateful. He taped the window up for me and I must admit it is pretty gettorific.

Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve was pretty great. I went to Kesk's house to do Christmas with her and the littles, and I took many wonderful photos. Only I screwed up and deleted most all of them. What I do have is this:

I'm not sure what I could possibly add to that unless it is this:

I know, you're probably confused about "witch" holiday we are supposed to be celebrating, but don't be. We all know what's going on.

After that I went to Aunt Kaye's house to prepare for the Christmas Eve shindig she and Uncle Warner have every year to celebrate not only the baby Jesus, but also Uncle Warner's birthday. It was good times, I tell ya. Yummy food and lots of presents. Here's some proof of the good times:

I also got a wonderful doll that Aunt Kaye made for me.

This is no ordinary doll, I tell you. This is actually four dolls. "How can that be?" you may ask.I think I saw a show on The Learning Channel about this. I'm pretty sure it's inoperable. You must also know that on the back side of these doll faces are two more faces. There is a face and dress for each of the four seasons. I love this doll because when I was little I had a doll like this that was Little Red Riding Hood. One side was Little Red Riding Hood and when you flipped her dress over, the other side was her grandmother. The plot thickens because the grandmother was wearing a bonnet and when you pulled the bonnet off of her head there was the wolf's face! I know, right! That was one awesome doll and I really wish I knew where it was. So, I was really excited for this doll that is all topsy turvey like my childhood one.

I got one more present from Aunt Kaye tonight. Let me preface it with this: All her kids' families got this really cool radio/siren/flashlight thingy for their emergency preparedness. It didn't even need batteries because you wound it up. A pretty cool gadget. Then I got this:

Yep, that's a burnt match on the end of it. I'm not feeling very prepared all of a sudden.

Grammie Sunday

Third Sunday is always Grammie Sunday. I've been a bit absentee lately and it was good to get back. I was feeling especially glad when I got there and saw that Grammie had made turkey. I'm not the hugest turkey fan. So, why was turkey Sunday a good thing, you ask? While I'm not in love with actual turkey, I am in love with roasted turkey skin all brown and crispy. Yummers! Heaven bless Grammie for letting me pick that turkey clean if it's skin before it was all carved up.

While Grammie Sunday is usually all about eating sinful amounts of food and just talking a lot, I found myself with an additional job. In case you didn't know, I'm the official toe/fingernail painter in the Lewis household. Only I can't really complain too much, because I pretty much started it when Ash's life on this earth was still being counted in days and not weeks or months or years yet. Roxie got her first toe painting as soon as she got home from the hospital because I'm not so sure the hospital would have been in love with me painting them there. You'd think that Tian would be sad because he is not in the girl category and getting his toes painted. That's where you'd be wrong. Here's some of my handy work from Sunday.

Apparently, all the tough kick boxer fighter boys are painting their toenails black these days. Good news for Tian because he always loves them painted anyway. That's what happens when you live in a house full of girls. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Ms. Rox is showing off her pretty nails. I've often said that she believes that I'm the only person who knows how to paint her nails. I always thought it was a little bit of a joke until Kesk admitted on Sunday that whenever Roxie wants her nails painted she tells her to call me. And, plus, if you'll take a good look at that face you'll see why I always come when she calls. I'm pretty much whipped that way.

Monkey Girl here got hers painted, too. Only for some reason we didn't document it. This photo is close enough. Her fingers are attached to her hand, what that's attached to her arm, what that's attached to her shoulder, what that's attached to her neck, what that's attached to that goofy face.

I caved

What did I tell myself I'd never do? Blog--that's what. Only I blame it on my mama because she bought me this nifty camera for Christmas (Yes, I opened it early. Don't judge me.) and I'm so excited about it that I need a place to show off all my photos what that's not just on the actual camera. My Kesk friend told me to just give in and do a blog. I think that is just a sneaky way for her to have two blogs because she knows I love her kids best and I will blog them most. Sneaky or not, it worked.

Here's what I'm most scared of about blogging: grammar. I'm an 8th grade English teacher, and I'm pretty sure if I don't write too good, nobody will want me to teach their kids how to write real good too. Plus, also, if I put an apostrophe in the wrong place, I'm pretty sure Kesk will launch a full blown protest against my blog. She's not a mere grammar Nazi--she's pretty much Hitler when it comes to apostrophes. She and I share that wonderful quality.

My header photo is of Hank. I just thought you'd like to know that. He wandered into my school about a month ago and almost got his noggin smashed in the big heavy doors. He was a homeless kitty trying to get out of the snow I believe. He beguiled me and I took him home on a trial basis. I prefer cats but I am secretly afraid of becoming that crazy cat lady who always smells a little like urine. My Shelly friend says I need way more than one cat to be a crazy cat lady. I choose to believe her, so Hank can stay.